I
listen to my music really loud
loud
enough to shake the frame
of
my small car and
the
frame of my body that
sometimes
feels small.
And
in that overwhelming sound
all
the thoughts I want to fade do.
They
disappear with a quickness
into
the intrusive waves that swell
within
my ears.
The
music is deafening
in
that way-
flooding
the seashells on my head
into
selective silence.
My
self examination ceases-
propelled
into the periphery
like
my reflection in
a
disrupted puddle.
I
listen to my music really loud
so
patterns of thought are broken
enough
for me to move through them
into
something else.
My
mind moves involuntarily
like
when I'm shaken at the shoulders
stirred
from that transient state where
I've
been staring at myself.
That
brutal self study, you know
where
you look at all your parts
with
carnival mirror vision.
I
listen to my music really loud
so
that my autopsied body hops
off
the examination table
unhindered
by a heavy head.
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